Tag: humour

Awards, humour, Mental Health, Writing17 Comments

Awards! Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em

Laidback DM

I have been nominated for the Real Neat Blog award by Alma at Bookish Endeavours. Thank you, Alma; I most graciously accept your nomination in the most pretentious and snooty way possible (I bow, like that guy on Sleepy Hollow. It was cancelled. Oh, I’m sorry everyone, too soon?). Being as unaccustomed to fame (and the lack of it) as I am, I have decided to post this award with my many (read: few) others, answer your delightful questions (in a pretentious and snooty way) and nominate several other worthy blogs. The rules are simple: two go in, only one … Continue reading Awards! Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em

humour, The Sale, Writing1 Comment

The Sale. Part 7. A short story.

Laidback DM

The musty corridor receded into the darkness. Silas, holding his lighter aloft, turned and beckoned me to follow. I trailed him as he crept forward, sweeping dusty cobwebs from the way as he went. Before long we came to a ladder marking the end of the passage. It led up into the dark and down through a square-cut hole in the floor to the depths below. “We have a choice, sir,” said Silas, glancing up and down. “Which way do you suggest?” I eyed the ladder, touching the rungs gingerly; they were cold, metallic. “This ladder is made of metal. … Continue reading The Sale. Part 7. A short story.

Animals, Mental Health, Training, Writing8 Comments

Not Without My Calf! A true story of cows, muscle fibres and underinflated ego.

Laidback DM

Today, I tore my calf muscle. For those of you not familiar with the calf muscles, they are not part of a cow, but located on the back of your lower leg. They are important for balance, walking, running and generally being human. When you tear your calf muscle it normally happens high up on the back of the leg. It’s similar to an Achilles tendon rupture – you could be walking or running and then you hear a pop and feel intense pain. In my case it felt like the muscle had left the bone. The muscle has major tears in the fibres … Continue reading Not Without My Calf! A true story of cows, muscle fibres and underinflated ego.

Love, Poetry, Writing5 Comments

Flutter. A poem.

Laidback DM

My heart beat Skips Flutters When you’re near Not a heart attack (At least I hope not) Not indigestion (Couldn’t be) Butterflies Nerves Anxiety Confusion (Obviously) If only I could Pull myself together Long enough To tell you How I Feel (Not the indigestion) Sometimes I’d like to punch Myself In The Face To wake me up So I could tell you How much I need you But by the time I get through All of this You’re gone Damn Continue reading Flutter. A poem.

humour, The Sale, Writing1 Comment

The Sale. Part 6. A short story.

Laidback DM

I pushed off the door and bolted to the pantry, glimpsing back briefly to see the flame-haired mistress of the blade standing in the frame as the door swung open and hit the wall. The pantry was bigger than I expected, a central corridor lined with shelves of food products—more like a mini-market than a larder. The old butler was beckoning from a shadowy open space at the end. I ran and dived in. He slammed the door shut behind me. It was black as pitch for a moment, until I heard the click of a zippo and a small … Continue reading The Sale. Part 6. A short story.

humour, The Sale, Writing1 Comment

The Sale. Part 5. A short story.

Laidback DM

I ran. The old butler had a head start into the corridor, but he was shuffling at such an antiquated pace I easily overtook him. I glanced back at the mad woman approaching from the living room, knife flashing in time to each stride. “Where?” I yelled, manically. “The kitchen, sir,” he replied, pointing a gnarled digit to the door opposite. I rushed inside and waited for him to catch up, which he did just as the crazy lady exited the lounge room. “My mother was killed by a vacuum cleaner,” she cried, stabbing the knife into the outside of the … Continue reading The Sale. Part 5. A short story.

humour, The Sale, Writing1 Comment

The Sale. Part 4. A short story.

Laidback DM

The crazy lady was right up in my face, spittle flicking onto my cheek as she voiced her objection. I backed up, hands raised. “Look, I’m really sorry,” I said. “I really didn’t know you had a tragedy related to…cleaning products.” As if from nowhere, she extracted a huge butcher’s knife from its hiding place behind her back. It glinted malevolently in her hand, matching the glint in her eye. The yelp that escaped my lips was more feminine than I would have liked. My eyes widened to the size of saucers, adrenaline surged and my voice trembled. “I can … Continue reading The Sale. Part 4. A short story.

humour, The Sale, Writing1 Comment

The Sale. Part 3. A short story.

Laidback DM

The living room was immense, I almost needed binoculars to identify the furniture. This consisted of a few ornate and dusty lounges, chairs and a worn coffee table, all encircling a huge twenty-foot wide hearth, a fire burning briskly within. Exotic, cobweb-covered chandeliers shone dimly from the ceiling far above—the light they cast had very little impact on the dancing shadows cast by the flames. My previous confidence in a quick sale was evaporating, unlike the sweat forming on my brow from the heat in the room. The butler lurched to a stop by the door, out of breath. Standing … Continue reading The Sale. Part 3. A short story.

humour, The Sale, Writing1 Comment

The Sale. Part 2. A short story.

Laidback DM

The rain was falling harder now. I raised my collar against the cold and turned to go, lifting the heavy vacuum kit awkwardly beside me. The door slowly opened with a long creak (it was like it had its own theme song, the patter of rain the accompanying percussion). I turned and jumped. The fellow in the doorway was huge, at least seven feet tall, with a face so wrinkled and jowls so pronounced it looked like it was melting. He was dressed in a butler’s coat and tails, and as he opened his mouth the harsh intake of breath that preceded his … Continue reading The Sale. Part 2. A short story.

humour, The Sale, University, Writing1 Comment

The Sale. Part 1. A short series.

Laidback DM

I’ve just started a new uni subject, and one of the threads on the discussion boards is about re-writing clichés. This is my first post from that thread (it’s not part of the marking process so I can post it here now, otherwise I would have to wait until the course was over). I’m going to continue this series on a semi-regular basis.   It was a dark and stormy night. Okay, it wasn’t really that dark. There were big street lights, like super A-grade halogens (the city council must have had a bigger budget in this town than my last). And … Continue reading The Sale. Part 1. A short series.

Christianity, humour, Writing1 Comment

Perspective.

Laidback DM

So, what are the rules of life? I guess, when it comes down to brass tacks (that’s an old-fashioned saying, youngsters, cause, I’m, like, a bit old and stuff), there aren’t really any. Or are there? I’m sounding suspiciously ambiguous and much less wise than I originally thought I would, but bear with me…   Now I know there are moral and ethical guidelines that we should (but often don’t) apply, and, for those of us who are religious, there are rules for that, too. There are rules established by our upbringing, familial environment, school (don’t run in the halls!), our … Continue reading Perspective.

Awards, humour, Review, Writing13 Comments

Versatile Blogger Award Nomination – Woo hoo! Cheers and thank you 😊

Laidback DM

Having just gotten over the excitement of being nominated for the Awesome Blogger Award (read about it here), I was surprised and excited to find I’d been nominated the next day by Sonyo Estavillo from https://lilpickmeup.com/ for another, the Versatile Blogger Award. I’m only able to post this now as I have been doing assignments, seeing movies, posting other (shorter) stuff, researching blogs to nominate and generally screwing up my life (as I usually do each waking moment of my day). Being the humble person that I am (NOT!), I was delighted to receive this nomination and thank Sonyo from … Continue reading Versatile Blogger Award Nomination – Woo hoo! Cheers and thank you 😊

humour, Writing2 Comments

Not the most positive person. Who, me? That can’t be right…

Laidback DM

Yesterday, someone (no names, to protect the anonymity of potentially guilty parties. Alright, it was outrightallie) accused me of being ‘Not the most positive person’. I was, of course, outraged by this incredibly hurtful personal slight, and promptly went through my backlog of posts to see just what she meant. Okay, so she has a point. Hmmm…When I started this blog, it was because people in my uni courses found my light-hearted discussion thread posts witty and amusing. I wanted to keep writing on a regular basis, so voila! Instant blog and some funny posts. Over time, as I became … Continue reading Not the most positive person. Who, me? That can’t be right…