Leibster and Versatile Blogger Award Noms—thank you, thank you, thank you!

Thanks so much to Follypen, who nominated me for both the Leibster and Versatile Blogger awards.

You can find Follypen’s wonderful site at this link: https://follypen.wordpress.com/

I’m gonna cheat a bit (as I sometimes do with Award-thingies) and refer you to a previous nomination of mine for some faintly amusing Leibster award answers and questions:

Some Leibster Award Goodness: I’d like to thank the academy…

I’m going to cheat AGAIN and direct you to some of my previous posts for Versatile Blogger Award nominations for some not-quite-so-controversial and possibly-funny-but-who-am-I-to-judge questions and answers:

Versatile Blogger Award Nomination – Woo hoo! Cheers and thank you 😊

Versatile Blogger Award 2 – Thanks muchly!!

And if you don’t want to read humorous stuff, how about some of my depressing poetry instead:

Steve’s angst-filled and depressing poetry (isn’t it about time he got a life?) 

Thanks again, Follypen! I know this is not the best response but I’m so time poor at the moment that this is all I could do (excuses, excuses!)

Cheers

Steve 😊

It’s a mystery why I’m nominated, but I gratefully accept!

Trudy K at Pinching Words has nominated me for the Mystery Blogger Award. Thanks so much, Trudy! As usual I ‘m always a bit flabbergasted at why I get nominated; equally happy and bemused. That’s not to say I don’t appreciate it—I do!

As to this award, there’s some indicia I have to list:

The Mystery Bloggers Award

It’s an award given to amazing bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates, it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging and they do it with much love and passion.

Okoto Enigma

I didn’t write this. I’m feeling a bit embarrassed right now. But thanks for the kind words, Okoto, and thanks for thinking about my blog, Trudy!

The Rules (with my responses in italics):

  • Put the award logo/image in your post

That fancy, flashy logo is adorning my post above!

  • List the rules

Hey, they’re right here!

  • Thank whoever nominated you and include a link to their blog

Thanks Trudy! Trudy has a wonderful blog of poetry and writing, please check it out at https://trudykblog.wordpress.com/.

  • Tell your readers three things about yourself

I’m going to cheat a bit on this one. I did another award post a few days back where I listed stuff about myself. So, here’s a link to that one.

  • Nominate 10-20 bloggers you feel deserve the award

I listed a bunch the other day, so I’m gonna cheat and refer you to the earlier list.  

  • Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog

So much work in these award things!

  • Ask your nominees 5 questions of your choice with one weird or one funny

Sorry, I only ever do weird in award posts. My questions to my nominees:

  • If you could make a meme about yourself, what would it be? Would it be funny or straight-laced? Do you think it would go viral? Well, you’ve got dibs on yourself, haven’t you?
  • Now that your meme is out there clogging up the internet, it gets stolen and used for evil purposes! Bwah-ha-ha-ha! What do you do? Steal an experimental superjet and track down the villains who did this? Shake your fist at your computer screen and vow vengeance? Write your own personal virus to destroy the internet so no one can use your meme for evil ever again? Well that’s a bit selfish.
  • Zombies have broken into your house. Do you defend or sacrifice your housemates? If you don’t share with anyone I’m afraid you’re the main course. Sorry.  
  • One of the Zombies has a T-shirt with your personal meme printed on it. You know for sure you never received any royalties for that. Do you tear it off the zombie, pin it to the wall and question it about where it got the T-shirt? Or do you sit in your room in a huff, refusing to let the zombie in?
  • It turns out the zombies are actually your friends after a big night out (yeah, hangovers can be killers—see my fancy double meaning there?). Do you kick them out after scaring you to death? Realise that one of your friends is the evil anarchist who stole your meme and question them all like Poirot or Holmes? Kill them all, just to be safe? Hey, I never said you liked your friends. One of them is an evil supervillain who stole from you, after all.

My answers to Trudy K’s questions:

  1. Which song gets under your skin?

That would have to be Cole Porter’s I got you under my skin. Just to be literal. I actually play this song when I busk and gig. Yep, for real.  

  1. A leadership style which describes you best is?

At the moment I have no staff, so I’d say laissez-faire (yes, it’s a legitimate management style). When I was an actual manager I believed in empowering my staff (and still do) and was consultative. With a little bit of autocratic thrown in for good measure (because if you’re the boss, why not).   

  1. Blogging for life?

Damn straight I will! I currently have little else to do in my sad and misbegotten world.

  1. Do you believe in God?

Damn straight I do! The Big Guy Upstairs and I are Sympatico. We’ve got this bromance thing going on. He’s got this cool book. I read it and was hooked.

  1. Shopping or the beach? Why?

BOTH! Beach when I’m broke (which is most of the time, nowadays) and shopping when I’m not (so, not a lot of shopping nowadays). Ah, the heady life of an amateur poet/writer. It just gets better and better.

Thanks again Trudy K!

Cheers

Steve 😊

One Lovely, Bloggly, Nomination!

I would like to thank the lovely Kiera(n) Fortasse for a Lovely Blog Award nomination! Whilst I’m not really too sure what it all means (a lovely blog, that is, but you could include life in that statement as well), it does mean a lot to know that someone likes me (yay!).

Thank you, Kiera(n). Please visit Kiera(n)’s blog and say hello by clicking here.

‘Ere are ze rules (tried to make it a bit classy by sounding French. FAIL).

  • Thank the person who nominated you for the award
  • Share seven things about yourself
  • Nominate 7 other bloggers and inform them

At least it’s not 15 questions, like the last one I answered
 

Seven Things About Me (or Much Ado About Nothing)

  1. I read far too many books at the same time. Yeah, that’s right. Too many books. It’s one of my few (read: many) foibles. I often have about ten on the go at a time. Some people are sex addicts. I’m a book addict. (I’d love to be a sex addict but that would involve having someone to have sex with. Other than myself, I mean.)
  2. I like to draw fantasy maps. “You crazy cartographer, you!” Okay, that probably wasn’t the first thing that came to mind when you read that. More like: “He’s such a freaky nerd.” Yeah, well, you’re one, too. Otherwise you wouldn’t be blogging. So there (sticks tongue out in a very mature manner). You can check out some of my maps here. Nerd.
  3. I’m a pretty good guitarist and singer. So, got dibs on yourself, eh? I guess so. If you’re so good, why don’t you play us a song? Because, I’m shy. Actually, it’s more like I’ve got a lot on my plate right now. But eventually I’ll post some music. I’ve actually released seven solo albums, so I guess I’ll post about them sometime. Don’t hold your breath, though. I’m writing poetry, instead. Oh, alright. Here’s an old song of mine on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/2m3uMJPbTrJJ7FipkKWlro
  4. I love taking photos, but I’m a lazy photographer. I love my iPhone 8. I recently upgraded and now have a phone camera with a nifty optical zoom (only 2x, but hey, better than nothing). I take photos of stuff. Nothing crazy or illegal. Trees, buildings, statues, dogs. Boring stuff. Did I say boring? I meant INCREDIBLE!!! Didn’t sell that real well, did I? You can check out some of my photos here.
  5. I walk and swim regularly. I also work out a lot. I’ve got a pretty good bod (or so I’m told). So, why am I not having sex RIGHT NOW? Because, as a Christian, it’s not the done thing when you’re single. Yeah, I’m a Bible basher/thumper. But I believe everyone has the right to believe what they believe, so I’m not here to convert you. I’m pretty liberal, that way. Don’t believe me? Check out one of my poems about the Big Guy Upstairs, right here.
  6. I’m a mature age university student. Approaching middle-age is like a spaceship crashing into the sun. Is it hot in here? Must be male menopause coming on. Oh, I love uni, by the way. It hasn’t made me any smarter, but it does fill in my time. When I’m not thinking about sex, that is.
  7. I still don’t know what I want to do with my life. Should I be a poverty-stricken writer? I’m already a destitute poet (I’m assuming you would have read some of my poems by now. But, if not, click here so you’ll know what I mean). I would REALLY like to retire but being broke isn’t conducive to retirement. I worked for about 30 years and I know I’ll have to go back to work at some point, but for now I’m shooting the breeze. I could make a gross sex-related joke right now, but I won’t. Because I’m classy, that way.

 

Nominating Seven blogs! If you’re blog appears here, smile! And get to it.

One Woman’s Quest – https://vjknutson.org/

Movie Babble – https://moviebabblereviews.com/

Crumpled Paper Craneshttps://crumpledpapercranes.com/

Firewatersitehttps://firewatersite.wordpress.com/

Little Fearshttps://littlefears.co.uk/

Nicole Sundayshttps://nicolesundays.wordpress.com/

The Board Game Shackhttps://theboardgameshack.wordpress.com/

Thanks again Kiera(n)!

Cheers

Steve 😊

Sunshine Blogger Award. I don’t think I’ve ever been accused of bringing sunshine, unless it was out of my…

Thanks, Mairi, for nominating me for the Sunshine Blogger award. Please check out Mairi’s cool blog, Hitting 60!

It’s always nice to be nominated, but it takes me so long to write a post about it – DOH! I may be a mature-age student with little to do, but I have only limited time in which do little. If that makes sense…

The Sunshine Blogger Award is given to bloggers who are inspiring and creative (or, in my case, depressing and morbid). Once nominated, a blogger is required to:

  • Thank the blogger for nominating them and link back to their blog (Tick!)
  • Answer the 11 questions asked by the blogger who nominated you (Aghhh! More work! See my answers below…)
  • Nominate 11 other blogs and give them 11 questions to answer (Because I’m lazy I’ll nominate some, but I may not make the total number. Does this mean I’m disqualified?)
  • Notify your nominees (Aghhh! Even more work! Can’t they just read my blog post?)
  • List the rules and display the sunshine blogger award logo in your post (Aghhh! Yet more work. Oh, alright, I’ll do that bit. I suppose it’s the least I can do…)

My answers to Mairi’s questions

Do you believe in God or another deity?

I sure do! The Big Guy Upstairs (as I like to refer to Him) and I have been in cahoots for about four years now. Every day is an adventure and every day is a blessing. Even when I’m depressed (which is often).

Don’t believe me? Check out this poem in His honour.

Are you a quick thinker or a deep think?

I’m a bit of both. And a bit of neither. I’m usually in two minds about that sort of think (see what I did there? I’m so funny, I crack myself up).

How long does it take you to write your average sized blog?

Depends on the size of the average-sized blog. A poem usually takes me about 10-15 minutes. About the same amount of time it takes me to deliver my ablutions.

Yep, I write most of my stuff on the loo. Not joking.

Why do you blog?

If I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again: I have no life.

Actually, that’s not the real reason. The real reason was to use it cathartically and to encourage me to write every day, as I’m a lazy writer. It’s worked so far.

How many books do you read a year?

I’d love to say 100, but it’s more like 40-50. I’m slowing down in my old age. Uni and life gets in the way.

What was the last book you read and when?

I’m currently reading a number of books: The Zom-B Chronicles (Darren Shan), On Writing (Stephen King), The Making of a Poem (Mark Strand et al), Reaching Toward the Heights (Richard Wurmbrand), Stories of Your Life and Others (Ted Chiang), The Book of Joy (Dalai Lama/Desmond Tutu), Cultural and Media Studies: A Semiotic Approach (Thwaites et al), Batman Rebirth: Volume 1 (Tom King) and the Star Wars: Age of Rebellion Role Playing Game core rule book.

I’m also reading a few e-books on my iPhone: Slow Horses (Mick Herron), Skykeep (Joseph R. Lallo), and The Language of Bears (John Eidswick).

And, of course, the greatest book of all: The Bible (The Big Guy Upstairs).

I always have a number of books on the go at any one time. It’s exhausting.

What country are you blogging from?

The great and wonderful land of Australia, where the skies are always blue, and the people are too (well, I am, anyway).

What is your current profession?

I am a humble, slovenly, misanthropic, mature-age student with a penchant for writing half-decent poetry. I just published my first e-book of poetry, so I suppose I can call myself an author, now.

Do you have a hobby outside of work and blogging?

I love playing table top role playing games. I love working out (HARD!). I love walking other people’s dogs (HARD!). I love writing and recording music (HARD! I mean, not hard as such, actually more laidback…). I love spending time with my son (although that’s not really a hobby).

I love being miserable. Oops, shouldn’t have said that last one; now people will think I’m depressed, or something.

How many times do you laugh a day?

Not as much as I used to or would like to. But I get a few in here and there.

Were the above questions thought provoking?

They certainly took me long enough to answer. Who made up the rules for this thing, anyway? How about five questions, next time. Or better still, two.

My Questions for Nominees to Answer:

  1. What’s your favourite aeroplane story? Or airport story? Or failing both of those, your favourite time on a bus. (Oh, come on, you must have travelled on a bus at least once…)
  2. When you get up in the morning, do you blow your nose? No? Wow, you must get quite a blockage up there. How do you breathe at all? Are you a zombie or something?
  3. Now that we know you’re a zombie, how do you prefer your brains? Straight from the skull or with some kind of relish?
  4. If you were in a zombie apocalypse, which best friend would you want to have with you? (Make sure all your friends get a chance to read your answer so they can snub you when they find out it isn’t them).
  5. Okay, so now we know you have no friends. Are you a basement lurker or do you have your own place? If you have your own place, I know a guy who would make a great room-mate.
  6. How many more of these questions do I need to make up?
  7. Are we there yet? If you answer no, you should describe the scenery you are seeing RIGHT NOW outside your window in the form of a 39-line Sestina.
  8. There once was a man called ‘Backstabber’. He had some problems with his _________ . He bent over once, ended up with a ________ , and finally went back to his _________ . Fill out the spaces in this inspirational limerick. Make sure it’s funny (HAH! There’s a catch to everything).
  9. If you are a depressing person, are you on meds? What are they and where do you get them? Send some to me so I can test them out. If you’re on non-prescription drugs, send those as well. (REMEMBER, KIDS: Say NO to drugs.)
  10. I’m running out of ideas for questions. How much more of this to go? Not there yet? Damn!! Make up your own question.
  11. Ever been nominated for an award before? You have now. Enjoy my nonsensical questions. And write something interesting for this non-question.

My Nominees (Sorry, I’m tired. These wonderful blogs will have to do):

Thanks for making me work so hard, Mairi! Now I really am tired.

Cheers

Steve 😊

Some Leibster Award Goodness: I’d like to thank the academy…

Hey, hey, hey! Thanks so much to littlemissbearpaw for nominating me for the Liebster Award! I am honoured, humbled and somewhat stumped, as always, as to why I got nominated. But thanks for liking my stuff, anyway!

The rules for the Liebster Award are:

  • Acknowledge the blog that gave it to you and display the award
  • Answer the 11 questions that the blogger gives you
  • Give 11 random facts about yourself
  • Nominate 11 blogs and notify them of their nomination
  • Give these blogs 11 questions to answer.

My answers to littlemissbearpaw’s questions:

  1. What is your favourite blog post that you have written provide link and why?

My blog posts are my children: it’s too hard to choose which is my favourite. They get envious and squabble amongst themselves when I do.

Maybe I could use this to my advantage. Use their self-loathing, petty jealousies against them, turn them into an army to take over the world. BWAH HA HA!!!!

Oops. Sorry, got a bit distracted, there.

  1. If you could travel to any time period which one would you go to and why?

I would travel back to yesterday so I could finish the things I was supposed to do then, and thus have today free. Then tomorrow I’d have to go back in time again to today, to finish what I didn’t get done, today. And then I’d have to…

Damn these paradoxical time loops! Like fruit loops, only not as sugary sweet…

  1. What is your favourite holiday and why?

Being a lay-about, mature age student, almost every day is like a holiday.

Except for all the manic depressive episodes that bring me back to earth…bummer.

  1. What is your favourite holiday treat?

Occasionally, I like to eat. Nothing in particular, just food. A bit of gruel and some water. Maybe an occasional crumb of bread.

Actually, dark chocolate. Mmmmmmmmm…

  1. Do you read? What kinds of books? Which is your favourite?

I’m a big reader. Not exceptionally tall, but reasonable size. (Oh, I’m so funny. Not.)

As to books, my fave of the moment is Breath, by Tim Winton. I reviewed it a few weeks back (shameless plug for blog and link!)  

  1. What is something you ‘nerd’ out about?

How much Star Wars has changed and how much I despise the big corporate mouse for making a mockery of my childhood. Damn you, Disney!!!!!!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (in the style of poorly acted Anakin Skywalker’s initial Darth Vader Scene in Revenge of the Sith)

  1. What is your favourite kind of weather and why?

I like rain, as it matches my mood and provides me with lots of inspiring and morbidly depressing ideas.

And it’s wet. Which provides me with all sorts of sexual innuendos to fuel my sexual innuendos.

  1. What is your favourite Christmas memory?

When the whole family got together to celebrate Christmas.

Now the family is separated by distance, injustice and the tragedy of years, and it’s just not the same celebrating with friends and strangers. But it’s something, at least.  

  1. What is your go-to comfort food?

My go-to comfort food is…food. But never junk. I’m a health nut who works out four times a week, after all.  

Oh, and dark chocolate.

Did I mention that earlier? Maybe I’m reliving my previous day? I must be a Time Traveller!!!! Oh, wait, no I’m not.

  1. Introvert or Extravert?

Introvert who manages to manically leap into extrovertedness (yeah, I like to make up words) when he’s coming out of a major depressive phase.

I thrive on loneliness and longing. Oh, that’s not introverted, that’s just sad. My bad.

  1. Do you have special plans or a direction for your blog in 2018?

My plan is to be alive.

Aside from that: more sadness, longing, whimsy, plaintive moaning and bitter regret. And the occasional joke. And maybe a few sexual innuendos.

Sorry, but eleven is too much hard work, so here’s less than eleven blog nominations and less than eleven questions:

 Noms:

 Questions for Noms to answer:

  1. How far can you throw a ball? What do you mean, ‘what size ball?’ Just a ball. This isn’t a freaking physics dissertation.
  2. If you could throw a ball at anyone, who would it be? Why? I don’t know, maybe you don’t like them. Or maybe you think like a child and it’s the only way to get the attention of that girl/guy you like.
  3. If balls ruled the world, what kind of world would it be? Ball-like, I assume. But I’m not answering the questions, you are.
  4. What’s the biggest ball you’ve ever handled (is that a sexual innuendo? Possibly). Was it heavy? Soft? Hard? Round? (Okay, this question has just gone totally sexual innuendo. You can choose to skip this if you’re offended,)
  5. If you were to invent something, using only balls as your main component, what would it be (Trick question? Or not?).
  6. Why does this person have balls on the brain? Lack of insight? Run out of ideas? You tell me.

Thanks again, littlemissbearpaw!

Cheers

Steve 😊

PS My spelling is English, not American, which is why there’s an occasional odd ‘U’. That’s life. Just when it’s going well, the odd f’U’ appears when you least expect it.

10 000 views!

Thanks so much to everyone who has visited, commented and enjoyed or hated my blog! I’ve reached 10000 views. Yay!

I started this blog on 9th January 2017 as a way to encourage my writing, and to be a catharsis for my mental health issues. Over that time I’ve posted almost every day, and I’m still loving it.

So thank you all, once again. And if you’re reading this for the first time, please check out the menu above,  click on a category, and enjoy 🙂

Cheers

Steve 🙂

Another Award! Oh, I’ve got this one before. That’s okay, I’m very humble…NOT!

Actually, I am a bit humble. But only a little bit. Carly at message in stanza has nominated me for the Real Neat Blog Award. Thank you, Carly, you are very kind and obviously very wise (I said I’m a bit humble).

The rules:

  • Put the award logo on your blog
  • Thank the people who nominated you, linking to their blogs
  • Answer 7 questions asked by the person who nominated you
  • Nominate any number of bloggers you like, linking to their blogs
  • Notify your nominees
  • Ask your nominees 7 questions

Here are my answers to Carly’s questions:

If you could learn any type of dance, what would it be?

The merengue, because it sounds like meringue, and I like a dance that you can eat.

Do you like board games? Or are they bored games? If you like them, what’s your favourite one and why?

I love board games. I love table top roleplaying games more, though (my favourites are listed here). Currently, my favourite board game is Firefly, an adaptation of the fantastic TV show of the same name. Don’t know it? Click here for more).

If you could be in a different job, what would it be?

Something where I actually earn money for my work. I do a lot of work currently for nada. Zip. Zilch. Just for love. Awwwww…(the sound of a tiny violin)

What is your biggest phobia out of these options: heights, spiders, dark, or being late somewhere?

My biggest phobia is being discovered as a fraud – DOH! Didn’t mean to tell you that.

Mountains or beach and why?

Why, because it rhymes with sky, and I’m in a cloud watching mood.

If you die tomorrow, what would you like your last words to be?

“Rosebud”. Already taken? Okay, probably “Aggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!”

What would you like your last meal to be including beverage?

I assume this is the last meal I have before I die tomorrow. Hopefully something that I can pass tomorrow morning so that when I die my bowel is empty (yep, kids, that’s right. When you die the muscles in your rectum no longer work to hold in your poopies. Know what that means?)

Have you done karaoke before? What song did you karaoke to? What did your friends think of your performance?

Sure have. Won a karaoke competition singing a rendition of Billy Joel’s New York State of Mind, one of my all time favourite songs. I won a jug of beer. My friends, already pissed, were suitably impressed. But they would have been even if they weren’t drunk, because my Billy Joel impression is awesome.

Coffee or tea and why?

Both. ‘Cause that’s the kind of guy I am – indecisive.

What inspires your writing the most?

My crappy life. And sometimes my not so crappy life. No, basically my crappy life.

And here are my questions for nominees:

  1. If you could torture a person with one terrible song, who would you torture and what would the song be? Better yet, how exactly would you torture them using the song? Are you really that nasty a person that you would torture a person?
  2. You’re a writer. I could ask you how you got started, but it would probably be as dreary as my own story. So tell me what your best ever story is. So I can steal it.
  3. Digital or analogue? Come on, don’t tell me you don’t know what I’m talking about? Oh, all right, ‘analog’, for you Americans.
  4. Time flies when you’re having fun. Rewrite that cliché using ten words and the truth. Or a lie, if you have to.
  5. You meet your favourite cartoon character. Who (what?) is it, and what does it do to you when it meets you? If it isn’t funny, give up now.
  6. Time or National Geographic? If you’re too young to understand what I just said, give up now.
  7. You have the power of magic. What type of magic is it and why? If you answer all technical and stuff we’ll know you’re a total nerd. If you don’t answer with all the technical specifics we’ll all know you are officially boring.

Blogs I’m nominating:

Behind the White Coat – https://doctorly.wordpress.com/

The Showers of Blessing – https://theshowersofblessing.wordpress.com/

Kismet – https://chungwipff.com/

Dorky Mom Doodles – https://dorkymomdoodles.com/

SerotoninVoid – https://serotoninvoid.wordpress.com/

 

Thanks again, Carly! Very much appreciated.

Cheers

Steve 😊

Versatile Blogger Award 2 – Thanks muchly!!

Thank you Alma at Bookish Endeavours for nominating me for this award. As you know, I am a man of few words and fewer actions, so I will keep this short and sweet.

The Rules:

The rules say to thank the person who nominated you (also providing a link to their blog), nominate 7 blogs (okay, it should be 10, but I ran out of oomph) you feel should be awarded, and then share seven interesting facts about yourself.

Seven blogs I’m nominating for the Versatile Blogger Award:

My apologies if you’ve already received it or don’t feel like participating.

Seven Interesting Things About Me:

I’m going to cheat with this, as I’ve been nominated for this award before by a different blogger. Here’s a link to my previous question answers, if you want to check them out (yes, I’m lazy! Bet that’s something you didn’t know about me. Oh, you did, did you? Now I’m all paranoid…)

Versatile Blogger Award Nomination – Woo hoo! Cheers and thank you

 Thanks, Alma! Love your work!

Cheers

Steve 😊

Awards! Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em

I have been nominated for the Real Neat Blog award by Alma at Bookish Endeavours. Thank you, Alma; I most graciously accept your nomination in the most pretentious and snooty way possible (I bow, like that guy on Sleepy Hollow. It was cancelled. Oh, I’m sorry everyone, too soon?).

Being as unaccustomed to fame (and the lack of it) as I am, I have decided to post this award with my many (read: few) others, answer your delightful questions (in a pretentious and snooty way) and nominate several other worthy blogs.

The rules are simple: two go in, only one comes out. Or something like that.

Oh, sorry, that’s Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (showing my vintage, there). Back in the days before Mel Gibson imploded.

Actually, the rules are more like this:

  • Put the award logo on your blog
  • Thank the people who nominated you, linking to their blogs
  • Answer 7 questions asked by the person who nominated you
  • Nominate any number of bloggers you like, linking to their blogs
  • Let them know you nominated them (by commenting on their blog, etc)
  • Ask your nominees 7 questions

I’m worn out already. You have to remember, I’m laid up in bed with a torn calf muscle. It’s not fun. And I’m feeling my age for the first time in my life.

So here are the questions I have to answer. If you have seen my previous answers to awards (here and here), you’ll know I tend to go on a bit.

My nominees and my questions are further below.

 ANSWERS!

One fictional character that you hate and why?

Alpha Girl. She is my arch nemesis-sis-sis. Say that five times fast. I dare you.

If you could have one superpower, what would it be?

If I was normal, I’d say flying or something like that. But as I’m not: an automatic umbrella that pops out of my head when it rains. Or when I see people I really don’t want to talk to.

Actually, I’d like the power to light my own farts, but instead of a little flash, a huge firestorm would erupt. Okay, that’s a bit stupid. I’d be burning down everything in sight. Maybe it could work like a flame thrower? More selective with targets, that sort of thing.

Maybe I should quit while I’m ahead.

Marvel or DC?

When it comes to comics: DC all the way. Their Rebirth initiative had me at ‘Hello’.

When it comes to movies, DC and Marvel. They each have different styles – DC is a bit grittier, Marvel’s a bit funnier. Yes, it’s possible to love both, people!

Pretzels or bagels?

Bagels aren’t that big in Australia. Not in size, I  mean, but popularity (imagine if bagels were tiny little things – how would you butter them?). I love pretzels, but I’m talking about the little ones, not the big ones you guys in America have. We’re all topsy-turvy down here.

And do not say ‘down under’, or I will be forced to decapitate you. With a tiny, razor sharp bagel.

What is your go-to coffee order?

Long Black. Very unpretentious. I drink coffee for the taste of the coffee. Adding milk, chocolate, caramel, crème, egg, enchiladas, dog biscuits (or whatever they add now) is just spoiling it.

The problem with drinking long blacks is it’s easier to tell when the barista has screwed it up.

“I love the smell of coffee in the morning. Unless you’ve burnt it, damn you!”

How did you decide that you’d be starting a blog on WordPress?

I was a sad sack who wanted a public place where I could post sad stuff about my sad life. It was cathartic.

And sad, when you think about it.

One movie that you can re-watch?

I have so many…Alien, Blade Runner, Star Wars, The Accidental Tourist, Man of Steel, Memento, The Dark Knight, Unbreakable, Arrival. The list goes on…

I would hate to be in a movie. Maybe I am. Maybe my life is actually a movie, and I’m just the understudy (do they even have those in movies? No, that’s plays). That would explain a lot.

NOMINEES

https://lilpickmeup.com/

https://nicolesundays.wordpress.com/

https://dpadjoy.com/

https://littlefears.co.uk/

https://thelonelyreaderblog.wordpress.com/

https://bennettoblog.wordpress.com/

QUESTIONS (for nominees to answer)

  1. If you were a pizza, what type would you be? If you answer ‘plain cheese’ you should give up blogging altogether. Just saying.
  2. You have just won the gold medal for mawkish pretentiousness. What’s your speech? It has to be in the third person, just to make it more obnoxious.
  3. You have a choice to save the world, or save your pet. Which do you choose? If you don’t have a pet, you may save your favourite DVD. But not the DVD player. That’s going just a bit too far.
  4. If you were to make a movie about someone famous, who would it be and who would star in it? If they starred as themselves, would the production implode in some kind of freaky mirror-dimensional paradox? Or would they multiplex into multiple versions of themselves and play all the parts? I don’t know, you’re answering the question.
  5. Desert island: you can take one thing. Yes, it can be your girlfriend or boyfriend. But if you had a choice, would you take them? Maybe there’s only enough food for one. What happens then, huh? And if the two of you only had each other to talk with, how long would you last before it turned into The Hunger Games? Didn’t think that one through, did you?
  6. Have you heard of that old BBC show The Onedin Line? If you say yes, you’re lying. Yes, it’s an actual show. Google it. I’m not doing all the work, you know.
  7. What’s your favourite colour (that’s English spelling, not American). Why so boring a question? Because I haven’t finished. Now that you’ve told us your favourite colour, imagine the world in only that colour. Everything! Walls, floors, cars, people, dogs, cats, fields, countries, sky…how long until you absolutely hate that colour, eh? Burn!

Thanks for the nomination, Alma!

If you liked what you read (or even if you didn’t), please support my narcissism by following my blog. I don’t make any money out of it, but it keeps me from being sad(der). All it takes is a click – save a depressed person today!

Cheers

Steve 😊

Versatile Blogger Award Nomination – Woo hoo! Cheers and thank you 😊

Having just gotten over the excitement of being nominated for the Awesome Blogger Award (read about it here), I was surprised and excited to find I’d been nominated the next day by Sonyo Estavillo from https://lilpickmeup.com/ for another, the Versatile Blogger Award. I’m only able to post this now as I have been doing assignments, seeing movies, posting other (shorter) stuff, researching blogs to nominate and generally screwing up my life (as I usually do each waking moment of my day).

Being the humble person that I am (NOT!), I was delighted to receive this nomination and thank Sonyo from the bottom of my heart (which is not bottomless, but it’s pretty deep – see what I did there, not quite hidden double meaning. Sometimes I just impress myself. And only myself. I told you I’m not humble).

So before I dig myself deeper into a hole of egomania countered by self-deprecation and self-loathing, let’s talk about the award rules and who I’ve nominated…

The Rules:

The rules say to thank the person who nominated you (also providing a link to their blog), nominate 10 blogs you feel should be awarded, and then share seven interesting facts about yourself.

The 10 blogs I’m nominating for the Versatile Blogger Award:

My apologies if you’ve already received it or don’t feel like participating.

 Seven Interesting Things About Me:

I’m not sure if these qualify as interesting, but what the hey, I’ll give it a go:

  1. I’m very fit, if I do say so myself – I work out regularly with free weights, 4-5 times a week, including walking, bike riding and other stuff (yes, I post about it, too. Last one was here). I do Wing Chun Kung Fu (you can read about that here). I’m healthier now than I have been at any other time in my life (including my very active 20’s). Unfortunately, the offset of that is I’m probably going through the unhappiest time in my life, but the exercise helps to keep my depression in check, so it all balances out…sort of.
  2. I always have about ten books on the go at any one time – I loooooove to read. Goes hand in hand with the writing thing. How do I keep up with them all? That’s a good question. Bookmarks, mostly.
  3. I loooove RPGs – what’s an RPG, I hear you say? To answer that, click here. I DM a group regularly, and it’s lots of fun. If you’ve never played, give it a go. You will be pleasantly surprised at how fun nerd stuff can be. Yeah, I’m a big nerd. A fit one, though.
  4. I like to make up stupid nonsense words – Certainly not to make myself sound smarter. More to make me look stupidlier (yep – new word). Which isn’t hard.
  5. I am a full time mature-age student with next to no social life – What’s this? A student with next to no social life?! Unheard of! Well, it’s true. On top of my ongoing depression I have loads of anxiety issues. And not many friends. See, this blog has cheered you up already, because you secretly realise you’re so much better than me. See? My blog is a ‘feel good’ blog.
  6. I am a true romantic – yeah, it’s true. Walking on the beach at sunset. Romantic candlelit dinners. Spoiling my partner (when I have one). I’m particularly good at buying presents (it’s a real skill, y’know). I cry in sensitive movies. I love blokey stuff, but like girly stuff, too. Yes, I’m as confused as you are about that. Maybe it’s some male menopause thing…
  7. I loooooooove movies – If I could live permanently in a movie theatre, existing on nothing else other than popcorn, I’d be as happy as a pig in you-know-what. I would have a little batch of bedding and a shelf of books (for when the movies aren’t showing), and be that lovable hermit over near the wall who never leaves. Come to think of it, that sounds more like something from a Stephen King novel…

Hmmm. I’ve just realised this is starting to sound like some sort of dating blog (Noooooooooo!!!).

Once again, thanks Sonyo for the nomination! Much appreciated!

Cheers 😊

Awesome Blogger Award Nomination – What the?!

I’ve just found out (well not really just, but almost just) I’ve been nominated for the ‘Awesome Blogger Award’ by outrightallie. Outrightallie’s blog is awesome, and I’d nominate her back, but she already has been, and if I did so again she might get stuck in a reality-distorting and paradoxical blog award feedback loop. Or not.

This was quite a surprise, as I didn’t think anyone actually read my blog (yes, I have a few followers, but I just thought those likes were ‘courtesy’ likes – you know, like on Facebook, or as I like to call it Fakebook–when you have friends who aren’t really friends, who like your post even though they have no idea who you are or what you’re talking about. I don’t do Fakebook anymore, except to promote this blog. Could be because I don’t have any real or fake friends…). What I will say is that I started this thing a few months ago to push myself to write every day, and so far, I’ve managed to generate a whole lot of crap (a reverse-adage: quantity over quality). Okay, it’s not all crap—some of it is decent. Sort of.

So that’s a rambling way of saying thank you outrightallie for the nomination, which you can find over here (enticing clickbait).

So, who created this award?

It was created by Miss Maggie over at Dreaming of Guatemala. This is a direct quote from her blog about it:

 “This is an award for the absolutely wonderful writers all across the blogging world. They have beautiful blogs, are kind and lovely, and always find a way to add happiness and laughter to the lives of their readers. That is what truly defines an awesome blogger.”

Here are The Rules:

  • Thank the person who nominated you.
  • Include the reason behind the award.
  • Include the banner in your post.
  • Tag it under #awesomebloggeraward in the Reader.
  • Answer the questions your nominator gave you.
  • Nominate at least 5 awesome bloggers.
  • Give your nominees 10 new questions to answer.
  • Let your nominees know that they’ve been nominated!

Following are the questions outrightallie posed for me to answer. I hate answering questions. I like the aura of mystery. Actually, it’s because I’m afraid my life is not very interesting and if people find this out they may read my blog even less than they already do. I will answer because my social skills (as you may have noticed) need some work and this is good practice.

Who do you look up to?

My best mate is a pastor at the local church. He is a keen surfer and is a down-to-earth optimist, who I only found out recently is an introvert. This is surprising as I have known him since kindergarten and assumed he was an extrovert. I guess I wasn’t actually paying much attention all those years. Could be because of my terrible social skills.

What do you want to accomplish in the future?

I want to meet the woman of my dreams, fall in love and have a complication-filled life bordering on wonderful. Failing that I want to be able to live in a place where I can own a dog who will love me unconditionally despite my obvious lack of social skills.

Oh, and finish my novel and become a published author. Not self-publishing. I seek legitimacy through multinational-corporate publishing houses that care nothing for the reader or the author, and in so doing I’ll receive a huge advance that will never be recouped as my book will lapse into obscurity in the first month of sales, become remaindered and sit on my shelf as a reminder of my failure as a writer. Or something like that.

If you have 1 million dollars, what will you do with it?

If I were a narcissistic drug-user I would say “lots of ice”, but as I’m not: I’d buy myself a nice house (where I could own a socially awkward dog that matches my personality), donate much to charities (did I just write that to make myself sound noble or do I really feel that way? Guess you’ll never know…), buy a better car (I own a bomb that gets me from A to B, in attempted style, if coughing and spluttering were in style) and self-publish my novel (didn’t I just say I wouldn’t do that? Yes, but if I had a million bucks, who cares?).

I guess I’d settle back and make music and write every day. Oh, that’s what I do already. But without the million dollars.

Are you a traveller who looks for budget or luxury on your holidays?

I’m a mature-age student eating up his minimal life savings with ongoing limited income who wishes he could travel. Big sigh. As you can see, I’m quite the catch. And that’s not counting my numerous mental health issues, hang ups and years of emotional baggage.

Of course, that’ll all change when I’m a famous author. Or singer. Or millionaire (see previous question).

What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?

I’d like to change the laws of physics and thermodynamics so superheroes are possible. And become one. Nothing major, just an infinitely powerful goody-goody type.

Oh, and world peace (but did I say that because it’s expected of me or because, as a superhero, I would eliminate all nuclear weapons and become absolute dictator? Hopefully, you’ll never find out…).

If you could offer a new-born child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

I know you love Christmas, but Santa is just your parents buying and hiding presents and lying to you for the first decade of your life. That’s your first life lesson. Trust no one. Especially anyone who teaches life lessons based on Santa Claus.

Oh, you said new-born. I guess my advice would really be: “Coochie, coochie, coo.”

What are you most grateful for?

My teenage son, who, despite his rampant disrespect and failure to listen to any of my ever-wonderful and incredibly wise life advice, is the best thing that ever happened to me.

It’s possible he doesn’t listen to me because of that discussion we had about Santa Claus.

What is your happiest childhood memory?  What makes it so special?

Learning all the swear words (including that really bad one) in kindergarten. Before that I never realised they existed, as my parents and friends didn’t curse.

My foul language has been the only constant in a world full of uncertainty.

If today was the end of the world, what would you do?

Become a narcissist, smoke loads of ice and nominate every blogger in the world for this award. No, not really. I guess I’d complain to anyone who’d listen that “I was only two weeks from retirement”.

If you knew you were going to die one year from today, what would you do and how would you want to be remembered?

Okay, let’s get serious.

I’d steal a million dollars (see earlier question), build a shrine to foul language on a hill overlooking the capital, hitchhike around the country accepting lifts only from people riding scooters, create a website with only one word on it (“What?”), try and read War and Peace in one non-stop, caffeine-fuelled sitting, watch every season of South Park, write a new version of Genesis for the Bible incorporating the latest cosmology and dark matter theory (subject to the okay from the Big Guy, of course), teach guitar to fifty chimpanzees and see if they can compose a Led Zeppelin-inspired guitar orchestra piece (the musical equivalent of Hamlet, say), and tell my Mum, Dad and son how much I love them. That last one I don’t do enough of.

I guess I’d want to be remembered for the good things, and not the stupid screw ups I’ve made over the years. Like this Q&A, for example.

Nominations and Questions to Answer

Here are some cool blogs I’m nominating. Further below are my questions for them to answer.

  • Nicolesundays – https://nicolesundays.wordpress.com/ (I am actually envious of how funny this girl is. My witicisms are but a pale shadow of her humourosity. That’s a genuine word I just created.)
  • Message in Stanza – https://messageinstanza.wordpress.com/ (I’m sure she would like this award nom. If not, she can write me and complain.)
  • SerotoninVoid – https://serotoninvoid.wordpress.com/ (I know we’re supposed to nominate happy blogs, but happy is not really my thing. I like what I like.)
  • Flash-365 – https://flash-365.com/ (I don’t know if he does awards, but he should. His flash fiction is awesome.)
  • Mindfump – https://mindfump.com/ (I don’t know if Mindfump does awards either; when I visited his site today my browser crashed. But if you do get there, it’s a great blog.)

And now, the awe-inspiring questions:

  1. Why did you start writing? Was poverty a preferred life choice? And if you have money, don’t brag— it’s unbecoming.
  2. If you could work in a trade, would you prefer to be an electrician or a plumber? Instead of a writer, I mean.
  3. What was the last book you truly hated? And how did you inform people it was bad? Are you the sort who quietly smoulders, or the ‘shout it from the rooftops’ kind?
  4. If you had a time machine, which evil dictator would you hunt down and exterminate?
  5. Now that you’ve changed history with your irresponsible actions, what exactly has come to pass? And will you need to change it back?
  6. If you had to pass a urine test, would you substitute someone else’s? If so, whose and why? What exactly have you got to hide?
  7. Have you ever played a tabletop role-playing game? Do you even know what a tabletop role-playing game is (hint: it’s not sexual)? If not, just pretend you do, without checking wikipedia, and make up an answer.
  8. If you could invite three horrible people to dinner, who would they be? The dinner’s not for you, it’s for your arch-nemesis.
  9. Who is your arch-nemesis, and why would you subject them to such a horrible dinner? Have you no shame? Who really has an arch-nemesis, anyway?
  10. If you had a choice between world peace and world peach, would you assume it was a spelling error or would you choose ‘world peach’ because you were trying to be cool and didn’t want people to think you weren’t hip to the new terms the kids use nowadays? You must answer in the form of a Haiku (a 5/7/5 syllable Japanese poem. But you knew that already, didn’t you?)

I think this was the longest blog I have ever written. A lot of work. I have uni assignments due tomorrow, y’know.

And yes, my spelling is English, not American, so stop picking.

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