I trusted you to pay the bills,
until I received those pointed calls;
found them hidden, of course,
in out of the way places,
away from prying eyes
and your surreptitious faces.
I listened to the constant stream
Of lies and excuses and deceit
All the time asking why me? Why me?
How could you say you loved
Then steal from me (in oh, so many ways),
your heart lost to the next win
and a poker machine glaze.
You had open access to all of me.
You screwed it up, threw it all away
as if it were nothing more
than crumpled newspaper:
yesterday’s news and leftover food,
eviscerated heart and dreams,
your doormat fool.
Now, you choose to forget
the things you did (conveniently)
casting a veil as far as you can see,
pretending it was always happy families.
I could put up with stealing,
heartbreak, pain, lies, contempt.
But once the trust was gone,
there was nothing left.
Nothing left.
My first wife was a compulsive gambler. It was not a pleasant time in my life, and is not fondly remembered. But it is remembered, by me, at least.
Steve
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That broken trust really is the worst, I think. Speaking from my own experience, that is.
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Yeah, and when it happens in such a big way it affects you and every relationship you have afterwards. I still have trouble completely trusting people.
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I get that. It certainly colors your lenses. Hard thing is, if you yourself lose that trust, no one else can trust you, and those future relationships are doomed to fail. Vicious cycle. Gotta break it.
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Agreed 🙂
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A therapist once told me that the web of lies is tightly woven that for the perpetrator to admit to even some of it threatens it all to unravel. My ex defrauded me out of money – it hurts.
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Yep. I have a very good memory and kept track of everything she told me. It was only a matter of time before her stories fell apart under scrutiny.
Unfortunately, I kept going back for more, thinking I could help her and fix the problem. She needed to hit rock bottom and make that decision herself, however, and by then it was too late to salvage the relationship.
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I asked my therapist how addicts pick their mates; she said they look for caregivers. That explained a lot.
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It certainly does! I’m caregiver central lol 🙂
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