Are you faded and fated, to pass from memory as if you were an afterimage on grainy film stock? Or consume me whole like Jonah’s whale, where I will suffer forever and a day?
I have wanted/needed you so desperately that I could not move or breathe without you taking control of me, like some mad puppeteer, pulling strings while I dance to some obscure polka tune.
Why should I forget you? You, who stole anxious days and nights of worry, where my thoughts betrayed me and I wondered constantly if you hoped and dreamed (like me) or even felt one iota of what I feel?
Now I sit here in the dead of night, composing this troublesome melody that won’t leave my mind, the needle stuck in an interminable groove, like an annoying advertising line. A sleepless, endless night where I wish I could just hold you to me tightly and say the three words that rasp on my breath and catch in my throat like the rusted bearings of primal, petty conscience.
And pray you want to hear them.