Online Dating Scams – don’t be a target and a victim

Good lord, I can’t believe it. Me, a guy who is so security and privacy conscious, who is IT-literate and generally pretty smart, fell for one of the oldest scams in the book.

Well, not quite fell, but almost.

Scams are rife in the world of online dating. Lonely older people are easy to prey on. And having been lonely for a long time, and now in the mature (over 40) age bracket, it appears that I’m now a target.

So how did it happen? Loooong story. How about I try to move on from my embarrassment and just tell you what to look for:

  • Beware of attractive younger people sending you winks/messages. If the message indicates they want to talk via email, rather than the date site’s messaging system, be cautious, and recommend using the dating site until you know them better. If they suggest using a dedicated messaging app like Yahoo Messenger, be aware that this app has been hacked in the past and has security issues. Also, if their email address sounds strange, that’s potentially another warning.
  • If the person provides too much personal information about themselves, especially too early in the ongoing email conversation, be careful: they are trying to get you to provide your own personal details and earn your trust or sympathy. Scammers know that many people use their dates of birth in their passwords, so never give it out. Also, don’t send photos of yourself in emails, scammers can use you info to create false profiles to rip off other people.
  • If the person’s story seems too good to be true, or too tragic to be true, it’s probably not.
  • The scammers will be working on multiple people through that dating website at the same time, so be conscious of slips (i.e. they use the wrong name, or repeat several words several times as if they have inaccurately cut and pasted a response).
  • If the writing in a message has poor grammar (especially where a person has stated on their profile they have high level or University-level qualifications), be aware that scams are often conducted from other countries where English is not the first language. Additionally, look for syntax changes in messages that sound like a different person is writing from the person who wrote before – it could be a team of scammers, rather than a single person.
  • Be wary if the other party doesn’t want to talk with you on the phone or meet in person. If they are working from another country they know their accent will give them away and that there is no way they can meet, so they will put you off as long as they can.
  • The scammer will play on your loneliness by finding out about you and talking about high levels of love/commitment very early, to gauge how easy it may be to manipulate you. They may even indicate that they have plenty of money (e.g. an inheritance or good job) so as not to arouse your suspicions of a scam.
  • Be cautious if the person is overseas or says they are going to be travelling soon. Generally they will be going to a country where they will have a “mishap” (e.g. lose wallet/purse) and will then attempt to get money from you, based on whether they believe they have built enough trust to try it on. This may include bank account details. NEVER give your credit card or bank account details in an email.

Once the scammer is aware that you may be on to them, they will stop emailing you. Block their address so you don’t get anything from them again. Notify the dating website of the scam so they can remove the profile. It may be a good idea to change your passwords associated with the website and your email, especially if you use your name or date of birth in them.

There are lots of sites around that give out tips on how to avoid online scamming – I’ve added a few links below.

I’m glad I didn’t fall for it, but part of me wanted to, and that’s because lonely people make themselves easy targets, and thus, easy victims.

Don’t be a target, or a victim. There’s enough of those in the world already.


Australian Government Scam Watch –

Wikihow –

Romance Scams –

Independent –

Published by stevestillstanding

I’m a writer who loves tabletop role playing games, poetry, music, movies, comics, books and (you guessed it) writing. Occasionally I have something to say...

7 thoughts on “Online Dating Scams – don’t be a target and a victim

  1. This is the internet after all you don’t know who’s behind the screen and the scariest part (at least for me)


    1. Yeah, tell me about it. I am usually the most cautious, security conscious person around, especially when it comes to the internet. I’ve worked in IT for years, so I know this stuff happens all the time (just not to me). I let my neediness overcome my logic. A symptom of being alone as you get older, I guess. Time for me to get my head out of the sand.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Ok, so there is much to say. Let me start by saying thanks for checking out my blog. I hope it was helpful in some way. I believe, in my opinion, that you are quite a good writer. I’ve enjoyed reading some of your movie reviews, blog posts and poems. And this post is very similar to one I wrote a few years back based on my online experiences. It seems like maybe you are in Australia? My husband is from Australia and we met online. Small world, huh? Keep up the writing – you have good things to say. I pray you meet that woman of your dreams. You seem like a guy who “gets it” but I’ve found that no person can fill that hunger for love, only God can. In that security, we can then move into a terrific relationship with a like-minded partner. I wish you all the very best and look forward to reading more of your writing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Laura, thank you so much for your kind words. Yes, I am indeed in Australia. And online dating has not been very successful for me. But I live in hope. God is with me and I’m confident that one day I’ll find the woman of my dreams. Hopefully, not just in my dreams. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I met my husband on God did some incredible things to bring us together – I was in California and he was in the Gold Coast. Neither of us were looking for anyone outside our geographic location. I wrote a book about our adventure! My best friend met her great guy there too – believe it or not within a few months of each other. I’m sure God has the perfect plan for you. Praying you meet the woman of your dreams! In the meantime, keep writing! 😉

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: