Tag: Sadness

Mental Health, Writing5 Comments

Conveyor Belt

Laidback DM

Here I am again. Back on the conveyor, darkness seeping to my core. I tried to get off but just wasn’t up to it. I float through the day, lost in motion that takes me no where. The conveyor clicks and clanks and rolls and on I flow. When I’m down like this I find it hard to break out. Hard to raise my head and look for a way. Hard to find a reason why I should. Hard to find a reason to go on. Everything is too difficult. Too pointless. But I don’t give up on life. I’ve … Continue reading Conveyor Belt

Mental Health, Writing15 Comments

The Loneliness of Being

Laidback DM

So what is life when you’re alone? Many might say life is what you make it: that if you’re alone you make the best of the situation. But for others being alone is a wasteland that sucks the essence of their soul and leaves them a withered husk. Unfortunately, I fall into that category. It’s not that I don’t have friends. I have a handful I can turn to in times of need, but the problem with having so few true friends is I hate to burden them too often. There is one person that I long to have in … Continue reading The Loneliness of Being

Mental Health, Poetry, Writing1 Comment

The Long Haul. A poem.

Laidback DM

The long haul north The highway like a dreamtime serpent Twisting forlornly through valleys Of gum and wattle, towns and fields I am an island moving In the relentless torrent north Towards faithless destiny Not remembered or forgiven Just complete the task assigned and say goodnight I’m just a chauffeur on the fly . I recently drove 2200kms giving a lift to my aging parents to and from their holiday destination up north (there and back twice: all up 4400kms over 4 days). I didn’t mind the distance. What I did mind was not seeing a family member I was … Continue reading The Long Haul. A poem.

haiku, Poetry, Writing5 Comments

On the Shelf. A haiku trilogy.

Laidback DM

Lost Another friend lost Empty space upon the shelf Whispered remembrance Alone Walking in my sleep Dreaming alone as always Isolationist Reflections Friendship, charity? Mature reflections adrift Empty shelf beckons Friendships can be hard to find and to keep, especially as one grows older. If you’re an introvert it can make it even harder. It’s not easy to find someone you connect with and let it grow to a point where you can say you are ‘real’ friends, rather than acquaintances. I recently lost a good friend. Lots of reasons why: circumstances, distance, family commitments, time. I’m not really sure … Continue reading On the Shelf. A haiku trilogy.

Love, Mental Health, Poetry, WritingLeave a comment

Ignorance Is This. A poem.

Laidback DM

I ignore her when she’s near Easier to build walls of insecurity Defences built on shyness and rejection fears So I talk to other women Because I do not care for them I pretend she isn’t there Why am I so unfair (to myself, to her) I wonder if she ever wonders why? Guess not, I’m just some other guy Who she connected with briefly Forgotten in the landscape of friends, work, uni Here I am: isolated, cold, stalled Wondering why I can’t talk to her at all Yet I hope and pray That she might love me one day Why do I … Continue reading Ignorance Is This. A poem.

Mental Health, WritingLeave a comment

Three Years Later…

Laidback DM

So, here I am, three years after the most harrowing time of my life and everything is pretty much still the same.  I’m not any closer to finding a real purpose. I still have no love in my life. I’m still socially isolated. I still have no idea what I’m doing (my prayers sound like they’re on constant replay). I still have nothing to look forward to. I still suffer from anxiety and depression (although I can walk around now without fear of the walls closing in, so that’s something), I still have no work opportunities, I’m still pretending to … Continue reading Three Years Later…

Mental Health, Poetry, WritingLeave a comment

Amongst the Ashes. A poem.

Laidback DM

Some daysI want to open my wristsAnd let them breath in reverseTake the irony of my existencePaint it in the colourOf lonelinessEmptinessHopelessnessAnd watch it flowSlowlySurelySluggishlyDown the porcelain sinkThat holds all my pointless dreamsAnd wash them awayMaybe thenI'll find sweet reliefAmongst the ashes Choose life. Every time. Don't give in to suicide. Life is too precious to waste. Steve Continue reading Amongst the Ashes. A poem.