I wander down life’s corridor. Testing doors: I open, close. But through this hall I walk alone, the only path I’ve ever known. “Save my soul,” I cry tonight. Take my hand, hold me tight, help me find the door that’s right. Kill this pain and bring me back to life. Continue reading Corridor. A poem.
(I lay awake.) I’ve been hit by a train, and my mental innards lay strewn over miles of track. Don’t think of her, because that way lies endless insomniac hours, of wondering how and why she’s run me down again; ploughing into my station, the end of the line. I am a train wreck, crushed and bent, overwrought and steaming. A less than urban tragedy, built on years of trauma and recovery, and a long time need: to be loved and freed from these rails. Continue reading Train Wreck. A poem.
There once was an optimist Who tripped, fell Lost his wife Respectability His whole life For some reason lost his optimism as well He picked himself up Dusted himself off Set about finding a new life But it wasn’t easy So much was tied up In his head and heart It wasn’t easy to forget the strife Three years later And the optimist returned In drabs and dribs A piece at a time A patchwork quilt Of emotion and anxiety There once was an optimist Who got up, looked around For a wife Respectability And a life Dim as a … Continue reading The Optimist’s Trial. A poem.
Stick to the path Safer there? Than thickets and brush Hidden from prying eyes That seek to Rend and blind Seek the safer path that winds on Lingering like dawn’s afterglow The safer path? Continue reading Safer Path? A poem.
I thought I was free of anger But it rages there! inside! Everyday Over every little betrayal Surrounded by tears That lurk just behind the veil Release me from hurt And leave me be For I have lost myself And have no compass to find my … Continue reading (No) Compass. A poem.
Bury those thoughts of love They are not for you She is blind to you Not even hallucination Or an oasis mirage You are the poltergeist Invisible in the room Ever-present and in pain Locked into an endless cycle Of feeble-mindedness And lonely, wanton disdain So stop your wishing Stop your dreaming Curl yourself up in a foetal ball And lose yourself in dank despair Let the black dog by your side Drag you down into the oily darkness Grinning as he does His teeth gripping tightly on your vacant heart Bury those thoughts of love Because she is not … Continue reading Thoughts of Love. A poem.
How I wish to see the light No matter how much it hurts and blinds My eyes, so used to darkness here To anxious crowds and bloody sights Wave a torch, a beacon shining Like a firefly that flutters in the night Something I can reach, to aspire Before the final round of this fight When the canvass finally catches me Punch drunk and exhausted Let me see that final light And know that it was worth it Continue reading See the Light. A poem.
Here I am again. Back on the conveyor, darkness seeping to my core. I tried to get off but just wasn’t up to it. I float through the day, lost in motion that takes me no where. The conveyor clicks and clanks and rolls and on I flow. When I’m down like this I find it hard to break out. Hard to raise my head and look for a way. Hard to find a reason why I should. Hard to find a reason to go on. Everything is too difficult. Too pointless. But I don’t give up on life. I’ve … Continue reading Conveyor Belt
Storm on my horizon Raining on my dreams Hailing on my hope Flooding my reason With dark clouds And windy betrayals Storm on my horizon Just when you think you’re feeling good about life, the clouds roll back in and deliver bucket-loads of blues. The downpour is unexpected, unpredictable and definitely undesirable. Steve Continue reading Storm on my Horizon. A poem.
So what is life when you’re alone? Many might say life is what you make it: that if you’re alone you make the best of the situation. But for others being alone is a wasteland that sucks the essence of their soul and leaves them a withered husk. Unfortunately, I fall into that category. It’s not that I don’t have friends. I have a handful I can turn to in times of need, but the problem with having so few true friends is I hate to burden them too often. There is one person that I long to have in … Continue reading The Loneliness of Being
Twenty four kilometres I walked on a whim “I can do this, no worries,” what was I thinking? Five hours, two blisters and a sore ankle later And I’m wondering if I should feel any way better Was it just for my ego, or just to feel good Or was it just for the pain, as I know that it should And in the end, I can’t deny that which is true Walking’s a poor substitute for being with you . For the full story about my little walking episode, click here. Steve 🙂 Continue reading Twenty Four Kays. A poem.
I’d long lost sight of my family As I descended the stairs slowly Those stairs they were so tricky It was easy to trip and slippery They climbed up the darkened stairs Out of my tomb and into the air … Continue reading Family Lost. A poem.
I curse my name And heart and face If I could melt this flesh I would To end this reign And bring me To a better place Continue reading Curse. A poem.
The long haul north The highway like a dreamtime serpent Twisting forlornly through valleys Of gum and wattle, towns and fields I am an island moving In the relentless torrent north Towards faithless destiny Not remembered or forgiven Just complete the task assigned and say goodnight I’m just a chauffeur on the fly . I recently drove 2200kms giving a lift to my aging parents to and from their holiday destination up north (there and back twice: all up 4400kms over 4 days). I didn’t mind the distance. What I did mind was not seeing a family member I was … Continue reading The Long Haul. A poem.
Yesterday was the three-year anniversary of the worst day of my life. Those of you who are regulars will know that I celebrated (rather insanely) by walking 24 kms. But before I did that I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror and had an epiphany. Despite the fact that three years ago I lost EVERYTHING that was dear to me, that I’ve been near crippled with depression and anxiety ever since, that I tried to kill myself, that I’m still undergoing therapy to recover from PST–I am a better man now than I ever was before. I have accepted … Continue reading Rebirth.
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