Storm on my horizon Raining on my dreams Hailing on my hope Flooding my reason With dark clouds And windy betrayals Storm on my horizon Just when you think you’re feeling good about life, the clouds roll back in and deliver bucket-loads of blues. The downpour is unexpected, unpredictable and definitely undesirable. Steve Continue reading Storm on my Horizon. A poem.
So what is life when you’re alone? Many might say life is what you make it: that if you’re alone you make the best of the situation. But for others being alone is a wasteland that sucks the essence of their soul and leaves them a withered husk. Unfortunately, I fall into that category. It’s not that I don’t have friends. I have a handful I can turn to in times of need, but the problem with having so few true friends is I hate to burden them too often. There is one person that I long to have in … Continue reading The Loneliness of Being
I curse my name And heart and face If I could melt this flesh I would To end this reign And bring me To a better place Continue reading Curse. A poem.
The long haul north The highway like a dreamtime serpent Twisting forlornly through valleys Of gum and wattle, towns and fields I am an island moving In the relentless torrent north Towards faithless destiny Not remembered or forgiven Just complete the task assigned and say goodnight I’m just a chauffeur on the fly . I recently drove 2200kms giving a lift to my aging parents to and from their holiday destination up north (there and back twice: all up 4400kms over 4 days). I didn’t mind the distance. What I did mind was not seeing a family member I was … Continue reading The Long Haul. A poem.
Yesterday was the three-year anniversary of the worst day of my life. Those of you who are regulars will know that I celebrated (rather insanely) by walking 24 kms. But before I did that I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror and had an epiphany. Despite the fact that three years ago I lost EVERYTHING that was dear to me, that I’ve been near crippled with depression and anxiety ever since, that I tried to kill myself, that I’m still undergoing therapy to recover from PST–I am a better man now than I ever was before. I have accepted … Continue reading Rebirth.
Freedom Is a state of mind Not unlike a canary In a coal mine Continue reading Freedom. A poem.
So many choices: Angst, depression, Regret, trepidation, Bitterness, anxiety They say time flies But twenty four hours Is all my mind needs To bring me to my knees Continue reading Twenty Four Hours. A poem.
I rise before the first blush of dawn Dappled sunlight like reedy fingers Touching the grey surrounds Blooming refulgent petals Apprehension in alpha and omega What fearsome beasts should rise On wings of measured determination Cunningly disguised and lividly forthright Trapped in sundered cogitation An hourglass of intimation curtailed Until sands cease to flow And all begins anew Continue reading Sands. A poem.
Justice in your palm How I bowed to thee You grabbed my life, threw it away Washed your hands of me Today I’m serving time Day and night in misery Until the shining light of truth Will one day set me free Continue reading Justice. A poem.
Man is the god of ruins And every day He builds them Lives in them Becomes them Ruins Continue reading Ruins. A poem.
My dreams are oil and quicksand Darkest thoughts, you understand A heady brew, an unlikely mix Brought to life, a concrete fix Dragging me down where dead men float Tarred and feathered in the undertow Set me alight in fire and flame All the better consumed by pain Oil and quicksand in my head Hope sunk deep, my feet in lead Throw me a rope that I’ll ignore Through neglect, self-pity, forevermore Let me be forsaken and forgot Let my head go under, into the bog Disappear in peat without a trace Oil and quicksand, my resting place Continue reading Oil and Quicksand. A poem.
Plundered heart Pillaged and torn Barbarous thoughts Have had their way Their longships Have left my shores And I am left Humiliated Ashamed Awaiting their return Continue reading Plundered. A poem.
I ignore her when she’s near Easier to build walls of insecurity Defences built on shyness and rejection fears So I talk to other women Because I do not care for them I pretend she isn’t there Why am I so unfair (to myself, to her) I wonder if she ever wonders why? Guess not, I’m just some other guy Who she connected with briefly Forgotten in the landscape of friends, work, uni Here I am: isolated, cold, stalled Wondering why I can’t talk to her at all Yet I hope and pray That she might love me one day Why do I … Continue reading Ignorance Is This. A poem.
So, here I am, three years after the most harrowing time of my life and everything is pretty much still the same. I’m not any closer to finding a real purpose. I still have no love in my life. I’m still socially isolated. I still have no idea what I’m doing (my prayers sound like they’re on constant replay). I still have nothing to look forward to. I still suffer from anxiety and depression (although I can walk around now without fear of the walls closing in, so that’s something), I still have no work opportunities, I’m still pretending to … Continue reading Three Years Later…
I am a starving manHungry for love and lifeIntentionally bulimicMy stomach groansReminder of my hunger strikeSurrounded by the feastConfounded by the choiceArms too weak to takeEyes too dim to seeLips parched and belly swollenThe starving man stumbles onHungry for love Continue reading Starving Man. A poem.
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