I’m tired.
And my drifting aimless gaze
settles on a distant mist-like haze
that wells up continuously inside,
like savage, misplaced pride,
and makes me drop like a stone
into waters unknown.
Lost on cruel tides that wend
the capitulating ocean to its end.
So tired.
If only sleep could solve this quandary,
instead of leaving me on the periphery
of a world that spins aimlessly,
through head space and trickery,
and leaves me wanting nothing less.
And nothing more.
Just tired.
Time to leave this place.
Steve is a literal starving artist.
Please keep the dream of poetry alive by supporting his worthy cause.
Steve’s first book of poetry, The All or the Nothing, is available now as an e-book from most online distributors. For more information,
click here.
Are you ok friend? The last lines of your poem are a bit concerning.
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Thanks for your concern. I suffer from long term depression, and have good days and bad days. If you’ve read any of my posts about my illness, you’ll know I attempted suicide a few years ago, but made a commitment to my son never to try again. I still think about it. But I’ll never take that step backwards again. Only forward, from now on. 🙂
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Ok. I empathise with you Steve. I haven’t read all of your posts yet about your depression yet but I will. I have also suffered from depression in the past and work as a counsellor to help people with their depression today. When I read your poem It raised flags so I am glad to hear you are still here and that you have found a way to keep fighting. Writing seems to help alot with depression and I think you are doing great things by expelling those demons by writing. My children gave me a powerful reason to overcome my depression also. Please feel free to contact me anytime. You are most welcome for the concern. 😊
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Thanks so much, your support is appreciated. Writing is my catharsis, one of the reasons I started this blog. My son means everything to me, I will not impose a life sentence on him because of my own selfishness. 🙂
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Anytime.😊 Yes it is very cathartic and you are also helping many others by expressing it to not feel alone and you are connecting with others. You are a gift to your son as he is to you. 😊
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You are very brave Steve. You are “still standing”. Please hang in there. You are most welcome for the concern. As a counsellor and a Dad, our kids can help us get through dark times by giving us another reason to live. Getting counselling has helped me out of the darkness many times also. I know you don’t know me but I am here, as a counsellor, a friend and just another human being caring about another human being. I will listen in any capacity.
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Thanks! I see a therapist regularly as part of my mental health plan. I’m glad there’s someone out there who asks if a person’s okay. We need more people to do that 🙂
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That’s good to hear. We need more people to I agree. 😊
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I’m glad you are ok too 🙂
Life can just be so damned hard can’t it.
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Yeah. But in the end, it makes us who we are, and we wouldn’t have it any other way. 🙂
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Steve, I am proud of you. God bless your son 🙂
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Thank you, Virginia. Much appreciated 🙂
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Hey Steve, I’m sorry the black dog won’t leave you alone. Stay strong. Stay hopeful. I’m sending my best wishes your way.
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Thanks, Michael. He’s got me on a leash, but at least it’s a long one 🙂
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Powerful poem. I read the thread – know that state all too well. Glad you have a creative outlet – and an excellent one at that.
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Thanks, VJ, much appreciated. Unfortunately, it’s a state known all too well by far too many people. 🙂
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It’s good you are still here. I think about it, too. Suicide, I mean. It’s good you’re still here.
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Thanks, Pamela. There’s too much to live for. 🙂
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Indeed.
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I also was worried about the last lines of your poem. I am so glad that you are ok.
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Thank you! It’s wonderful how many readers have been concerned. All my fellow bloggers are great people 🙂
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Hmm, these things are both lovely and horrible to read.
You’re a great writer, very vulnerable and open, your work is lovely, but it sucks to see the suffering you have to go through. Hope it’ll get better eventually!
I do really admire your consistent writing! How do you find the inspiration to write every day? 😀 I sometimes go long periodes without writing, and then suddenly can’t stop, haha.
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Hi Allie, thanks so much!
My inspiration comes directly from the Big Guy upstairs, I’m sure. Also, I tend to have so much (crap) going on in my life that I never run out of things to write about lol. I’ve never really had writer’s block (okay, once, but that was a long time ago), because the ideas seem to constantly flow. I always have a backlog of material as I usually write a few poems at a time.
Sometimes, it’s a mystery. Sometimes, it’s not.
My answer’s a bit crap but it’s hard to explain. 🙂
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Hey I really like your blog and I fell like all of us are in this together. Stay strong and don’t give up. Lot’s of hugs and love 🙂
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Thanks so much! Bloggers united 🙂
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Sending good vibes and understanding. Get through each day as it comes. Sometimes that’s all we can do.
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Thank you. I live in perpetual hope. 🙂
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I relate all too well with this poem. Keep on keeping on, brother.
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Thanks! That’s all we can do, sometimes. There is a light at the end of that horrendous tunnel. It just often seems far too far away.
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I commend you for penning your feelings! I’m a big believer in writing things down and the healing it has by getting those feelings out of your head! Keep up the healing!
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Thanks, Barbara! That’s what my blog is all about 🙂
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Seems exactly as I feel… ((hugs)) 🙂
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Thanks! 🙂
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Whoever can put their heart into their writings is a hero in my eyes. Perhaps you mentally reached the bottom,but your heart will never give up. Lots of love!
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Thank you, Tatiana, your words mean a lot to me 🙂
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With depression, there are many days I lack motivation as well and I’m constantly tired and emotionally in turmoil. This is truly a lovely poem that is relatable. You have great talent and should be proud 🙂
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Thank you so much! I have lived with depression most of my life so I’m glad it’s good for something lol 🙂
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Steve, just read your poem. You have a gift with words. Keep writing.
Blessings
Mona
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Thank you, Mona. I really appreciate that. I hope you will keep reading (and, hopefully, enjoying) my work 🙂
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I can so feel you and your poems💙
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Thank you so much! 🙂
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Man you are great… Its rare that you come across poems with such consistent rhyme scheme. Loved the presentation… And things will get better… prayers to you… good luck…
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Thank you, Giri! Much appreciated 🙂
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I recommend the book Heavenly Answers to Earthly Challenges by Joyce H. Brown. You can buy it used for 1.99 at Barnes and Noble with a couple dollars shipping. Also eBay and other good will book stores on line.😊
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😊🙏👍❤️
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You deliver poems with such an artistic prowess and flare you make writing look so easy. I admire your originality and empathize with you. I do hope writing helps you let out whatever it is that makes you depressed. Nice post Steve!
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Thank you so much. My writing is an emotional release—I find it therapeutic and cathartic. Poems seem to come easily to me. My brain is constantly generating new content, for which I am forever thankful. I think if I didn’t suffer from depression it might not be that way, so that’s one good thing about it lol 🙂
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I feel like I could have written this. (only you use bigger words than I) 🙂
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Glad you like it, sis! I don’t always use bigger words. Sometimes the small ones are all that’s needed. The heart of the poem is what really matters. 🙂
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Feels like you’ve penned down what I’ve been through.
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Yeah, I’ve been there, as have a lot of people. I’m sorry you had to go through the same crap. Stay strong 🙂
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Reblogged this on My life with Depression and commented:
So true to my world…….thank you for writing !!
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And thank you for reading and spreading the word! 🙂
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Great poem with nice rhythm, love it!
Take a look on my blog and read my poem 😊
Illeminium.wordpress.com
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Thanks, Nero! Checked out your poems. Good stuff 🙂
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Touched!
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Thanks! Hopefully, that means you enjoyed the poem and not that you think I’m a wee bit crazy lol 😉
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Definitely not thinking about you that way. Clearly enjoyed your poem.
Hope you find mine interesting, too?
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🙏👌👍😃
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truly excellent
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Thank you, Josie 🙂
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Wow man this is wonderful
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Hey, thanks so much! Nice to be appreciated 🙂
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I hope that you’re feeling alright now. Stay strong and never give up. Stay blessed.
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Thanks, KhushiBatra. I have good days and bad days. Today is a good day 🙂
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