The Diff. A short tale.

Here’s another short piece I recently wrote for uni. The exercise was to create some realistic dialogue. Hope you like it.

“So, you’ve finally met a girl?” Josh grinned.
Matt lowered his eyes. “Yeah, I guess so.”
“About time. I thought after your divorce you’d never get out there again. Tell me all about her. Is she a good sort?”
Matt smiled. “Yeah, she’s very attractive. She likes all the things I like. We can talk for hours about books, movies, art, comics, you name it. It’s like she was made for me.”
Josh rolled his eyes. “Nerds. So, what’s wrong?”
“There’s a bit of an age difference.”
“How much?”
“About fifteen years.”
“You old cradle snatcher, you. How old is she, eighteen or something?”
“Twenty-five.”
“Twenty-five? How old are you, anyway?” Josh did a quick calculation on his fingers. “Like, forty or something? You don’t look that old.”
“I’m scared to ask her out,” said Matt.
“You’re scared of rejection? Geez, mate, get over it and ask her. Then you won’t have to do the old ‘unrequited love depression session’ every time we chat. You can just be regular depressed like the rest of us.”

Poetic Bugs and Fly Spray Solutions…

I think I’ve become a bit obsessed with writing poetry. Until a few weeks ago, poems just weren’t my thing. I enjoyed reading poetry, but writing it? Nope.

But I’ve been writing and posting poetry at a rate of knots. And while some are good, most are a bit mediocre – first drafts that probably would have been scrapped if I’d sat down and worked on them properly (quantity over quality, I guess).

I think I may have lost the point of my blog. I started this thing to force me to write (I love writing, but motivation is low, hence blog = motivator). It’s succeeded. I’ve managed to post something nearly every day.

But over time I’ve found it’s easier and quicker to post poems (of varying quality), rather than put the effort into writing longer articles. But those reading my blog seem to be happy with what I’m doing. So, am I doing what I really want to do? Or just pandering? I don’t really know. I do enjoy writing poems. But maybe it’s just an obsessive phase I’m in (yeah, I have those). Maybe I’m overthinking it (yep, I do that, too).

Most of you probably think I’m worrying about nothing, and maybe that’s true. Maybe I’m spending too much time creating content for my blog (I know my novel is languishing because of my blogging).

Maybe I need to step back, get a bit of perspective? I don’t know.

Any advice?

Styx. A poem.

A heart full of love
Almost fit to burst
A longing
A lonely, ongoing search
Time is trial
A Herculean feat
A test to see

If you’re worthy of she
Staying awake

Staying alive
Whittled away slowly

While dying inside
Charon waits

His payment, the price
To cross the Styx

To where the dead reside
A heart full of love

Is the only cost
If you ride with the ferryman
All you fought for is lost

Time. A poem.

In time, you’ll forget
Future becomes past
Distance and memories

In time, you’ll move on
As nostalgia replaces
Longing and currency

In time, you’ll change
Regrets and vicissitudes
Lost with familiarity

In time, truth will fade
As falsities interweave
Becoming the new history

Blog. A poem.

Random linear thoughts
Forming implacably
Escaping the gravity
Of mental singularity
Touching down
On virtual vellum streets
Personal subjectivity
Metaphor and simile
Forged into reality
Launched summarily
And read
By you
Right
Here

Session. An ‘Alpha Girl, Beta Max and Me’ short tale.

“Back again,” says Ms Therapy, reclining in her chair.

“Yes,” I reply, eyeing her curiously. “Every month, as you know.”

Ms Therapy sighs, grabs a pen and notepad from the desk behind her. “Yes, I know.” She sighs again and my anxiety level rises.

“So, what would you like to talk about this time?” Ms Therapy taps the pen impatiently on the pad. She glances at the wall clock. By this point I’m feeling a little put out.

“Do you have something you’d rather be doing?” I say. “I can always come back later.” The last words via a thin smile.

Ms Therapy grins; it’s a little forced. “No, no, you know that I’m here to listen, help you with your problems…” She trails off. Her eyes are distant, and I could swear she’s starting to tear up a little.

“Are you alright?” I say, leaning forward in concern.

“Yes,” Ms Therapy says, putting a hand to her trembling mouth. “No. I’m sorry,” she says. She starts to cry, suppresses it, fanning her face rapidly with one hand, like she’s swatting away imaginary butterflies. Or maybe killer bees.

“How about I come back another time, maybe when you’ve had time to…adjust.” I start to rise, she holds up her palms signalling stay. I glance at the door – if I’m going to get out of here this is my last chance.

“I’ve broken up with my girlfriend,” Ms Therapy says. This is a surprise, as I wasn’t aware she was gay. Not that I know much about her, but I guess my gaydar is as non-existent as the rest of my people-reading skills. Before I can respond, she continues in a torrent of tears and sputtering speech.

“We’ve been together five years. She’s my everything. We are so good together. And last night, all of a sudden, she says ‘it’s not working’ and that she needs to find herself. I mean, what’s not working? She’s never indicated anything was wrong before. Then she leaves and she hasn’t come back and I’ve been worried sick and she’s such a bitch but I love her…”

I’m glad she doesn’t notice how uncomfortable I’ve become; the occasional squirm and nervous tic. “Umm…do you need a hug?” is all I can think to say. Ms Therapy graciously accepts, and for the next half hour I listen to her travails and placate her with “it’ll be alright” and “she’s a stupid woman, she’ll be back when she realises what she’s lost”.

Eventually, the tears subside and Ms Therapy composes herself. “Thank you,” she says. “I just needed to talk to someone about it. I feel so much better now.” It’s a shame I don’t, but I guess I didn’t really need a session, anyway.

“Glad I could help,” I say. My halo glows with new found, smug self-confidence.

“This one’s on the house,” she says, shrugging. “Least I can do.”

“Gee, thanks,” I say as I exit.

I can hear Alpha Girl now: “Hah! You can’t even get a therapy session right!”

Doh.

The Bed I Made. A poem.

Just another day and I drag myself from my bed
(I made it so I have to lie in it)
Open the blinds and let the light in
Far too bright for my dark little world
Maybe I should be a vampire 
Sleep in the day and only come out at night
Where I can hide my issues and parade of tears
Where I can hide my loneliness and anxious fears
Where I can have a better excuse for being alone
And hide away my sadness, no different from here and now
I close the blinds and face my womb
Exercise equipment, desk, books and guitar
If it was any smaller I wouldn’t be able swing the cat that I don’t own (wish I had a dog, though)
I’d like to have made better decisions in my life
But we’re all guilty of that, aren’t we?
In the meantime, I’ll write my blog, do assignments and shoot the breeze
I guess I’ll need a bigger gun, or at least a bigger gin (damn, I don’t even drink)
Oh, well, life goes on, or maybe it’s just a dream
And tomorrow I’ll wake up in the bed I made that I have to lie in



I love stream of consciousness poetry. It flows so honestly, and adopts a natural rhythm all its own.

Shame my life sucks so bad, but I know there are others worse off than me, so poetic venting is a good catharsis. Provides me with plenty to write about, anyway. 🙂

Outlook. A poem.

No one else to blame but me
For this sad and sorry state
Nothing left to say at all
Don’t be angry or irate
Disregard the news you hear
And turn the other cheek
There’s no one else to blame
Outlook: overcast and bleak

D&D. A haiku tetralogy.

Dice

Polyhedral dice
In your hand, controlling fate
Hack! Slash! “Die, monster!”

Delve

Deep dungeon delving
Party of five outsiders
Death or glory here

Dauntless

“My hit points are low”
Rest or spells to recover
“Ready? Time to smash!”

Dire

“Awful acting, yeah?”
Comedic celebration
Shared gaming love


These haiku are about my love of tabletop role playing games (RPGs), particularly Dungeons and Dragons (D&D). I loooooove RPGs.

Don’t know what D&D and RPGs are? Read about them here and here.

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